The 3-acre retreat comprises 39 rooms spearheaded by Connie’s Cottage, a fully restored house that was brought to Bangkok by boat from the ancient capital of Ayutthaya. Prices range from THB16,300 (HK$4,050) - THB46,500 (HK$11,400) per night but they’re offering a 50% discount for its soft opening which ends on October 31. Something you can keep from your girlfriend on a strict need-to-know basis.

The hotel is fitted with turn of the century antiques and plenty of features such as restaurants, a spa, a library, a nice lawn etc. but we all know what you really want to do - spill some blood. The Muay Thai ring, unsurprisingly, is located in the gym, so if you’ve ever wanted to get your leg above knee height, you'll find a fighting guru who can take you to the next level. And then it’s straight to the masseuse.

A vertical holiday business.