Imagine: you've signed up for the free app, selected a few girls you’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time ogling on Facebook, and one cloudy day as you’re weaving between slow-mo shoppers on Queens Rd. Central, the Breakup Notifier kicks in - Dawn is single.

You’ve somehow got to make your intentions clear to the lovely Dawn before other suitors do (who might also be using the Breakup Notifier) but critically you’ve got to do so without looking like you pay too much attention to her online relationship statuses. It’s a tricky one.

And sadly we can’t help you there. If you’re a single man, or if you’re spoken for and as bored as housewife on Mad Men, we can only gently cajole you in the right direction. The Breakup Notifier is one small step to turning your quasi-stalker obsession into something real. A restraining order, at the very least. So sign up and start dreaming.

With great power, comes…