Valentines List Because Giving is Receiving


Valentines Day can be tricky for the imaginatively-disabled, and say what you like about it being contrived by florists, cardmakers and chocolatiers – what we give is a reflection of who we are. We’re expected to become mind readers and crack the gift-giving code so this Valentines let NecesCity be your guide:

  Create a Human Canvas
Giving art can be as risky as really tall Thai chicks – it’s personal and open to interpretation. But DNA Portraits have you covered. For something you’re guaranteed her ex never gave her, have the DNA sequence of your loved one mapped and mounted on canvas, in intense colour. It might even trigger her kinky gene.
Price: 225 US$ for Mini-Portrait, 440 US$ for regular Portraits (depending on size and amount of DNAs)

  Wikigift Anyone?
Thanks to Wikipedia (the one site you go to more than, you can now create the world’s most unique encyclopaedia. Have your personal selections printed and bound – keeping in links to “threesomes”, “cheerleaders” and “The A Team” and leaving out those for “syphilis”, “Abba” and “matriarchy”. After all, knowledge is power.
Price: start from 8,90 US$

  Time to Shine
Every guy needs a show piece, an ice breaker, something that he and his date can have a laugh over before throwing on Barry White’s greatest hits. Help your wingman out with some ultra modern art from Aria Furniture, specifically their falling time clock, an artistic piece that’s shine in your love den.
Address (by appointment): Flat C, 4/F, Shun Wai Industrial Building, 15 Yuk Yat Street, Tokwawan, Kowloon, Hong Kong

  The Man of the Hour
Sometimes a mate needs a lift during the festive season and there’s few better ways (other than taking him on a bender in Vegas) to get his spirits as high as Kate Moss, than by creating his very own goal-scoring, crowd-screaming commentary. Be A Football Hero will take your custom-made script and immortalise your mate in his very own hall of fame, complete with real sound effects and estuary accents.
Price: 14,99 British Pounds

  No Thought, Extra Credit
Spoiling someone can take a lot of thought, and for those of you who had your romantic streak out with your tonsils, creating a truly awe-inspiring experience can be trickier than de-boning a donkey. Fortunately VIP Box Escapes are pre-made luxurious experiences that come with all the trimmings, meaning you spend less time on the phone and more time cashing in the brownie points (on your back).
Price: 1.200 - 28.000 HK$, depending on package

  Vino-Lovers Unite
If you know someone who’s mad about merlot or crazy about buttery Aussie chardonnays, why not give them access to the Winevault, a community of oenophiles (let’s not be dirty now), with 24-hour facilities for wine storage, tasting rooms and wine-swapping evenings (not to be confused with the wife-swapping of Disco Bay). After all, we go to the Caymans to visit our money and Shenzhen to visit our other families, why shouldn’t a true fan visit his wine collection?
Price: starting from 2650 HK$ per month for 40 sqft
Address: Hong Kong Wine Vault, 5-7/F Ha Lung Industrial Building,52 Wong Chuk Hang Road

What to give someone who has everything? How about their own robot cam crawling about their apartment, spying for its master like a electronic ninja toddler? Rovia Webcam looks like the Mars Lander and is essentially a mobile webcam that’s activated by any web-enabled device. The little trooper will protect your home, spy on your flatmates and is resistant to enemy seduction or torture. It even charges itself!
Price: 209,08 US$

  Hit the Sack
Know someone who’s not getting enough shut eye? They’re the one with bigger bags than Louis Vuitton. Why not do them a favour this Xmas with the Lightsleeper, a simplistic but reportedly effective night light that shines a slowly-revolving beam on the ceiling. Your mate follows with his eyes till he drifts off to La La Land (though he might need to take down those mirrors first). Its only available in the UK so put in your request now with mates headed home.
Price: 125 British Pounds - no shipping outside the UK at the moment

  Be App-standing
Possibly the most ridiculous iPhone accessory in existence, the Appstand might be just the ticket for that mate who’s addicted to their shiny little 3GS. The picture frame holds your phone in place in four “modes” (different angles), so the screen becomes the subject; which is all well-and-good until you actually receive a call from your talking picture frame. Real mates would apply superglue in imaginative ways.
Price: 19,99 US$ (since shipping only within the US, one might try to order via OneNow )

  Be in the Know
In a thriving, cosmopolitan city like Hong Kong, information is king and being at the top of your game means being on the ball. London’s Monocle Magazine gives you the edge on culture and current affairs, without wrapping you in a stars and stripes flag first. Promising a resurgence of the days of truly impartial magazine collectables, it offers international readers an international vibe 10 times a year. Bring your mates in from the literary cold with a subscription to the “other” truth.
Price: 38 British Pounds for a 6-month subscription
There are rumors of Monocle finally opening a shop in Hong Kong next year (after LA and London). A Mecca for the Stylophile!

  Jiggling the Jewels
The joke goes “Why do women wake up and rub their eyes? Cause they don’t have balls to scratch”. Laugh as you may, awe your friends, co-workers and father-in-law with this silver-coated testicular accessory. Cafted in the shape of a female’s hand, this intimate little itch-reliever comes in its own case and guarantees a first class ball-scratching experience, even if it is as subtle as Mr T on a merry-go-round.
Price: 9,95 British Pounds


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