LovePalz Sex Toy Cloud Based Sex Toy For Long Distance Lovers


When you think of men and the internet, you think of one thing - porn. Trillions of GB of the stuff showing women from all corners of the earth and 13 lucky men (why are there so few?) doing things your missus would be ashamed of. So, why, we ask, has the internet not given us loads of web-based sex toys? Gentlemen, the wait is over. We present to you LovePalz, a his and her sex toy that can be connected via the internet so when you pump she feels it. Seriously.

The product is aimed at long-distance lovers. Essentially, the man in the relationship has a tube into which he inserts his dingaling, while the women has a shaft. For want of a better word. When the two are connected, the action is transferred to the other, so when the man thrusts, the penis-like shaft is pushed into her till (we're trying to keep it clean her folks). What’s in it for you we hear? Well, when she applies pressure on the shaft through her vaginal wall (don’t quote us on the biology) that pressure is transferred to your tube. Basically, your cock gets squeezed.

What can we say other than they’ve got it hopelessly wrong? Let’s start with the names. The male and female devices are called Zeus and Hera respectively. Plato would be turning in his grave. The device also looks ridiculous - not something the average man would pop his schlong into - and they don’t seem to understand how it would be perceived. The site says: "Because of its fashionable yet minimalist design Zeus can be displayed unobtrusively in homes". Are they joking? All in all, if your relationship’s on the rocks then it might be worth the US$189. Otherwise, wait for sex toys to catch up with the rest of the internet.

We thought you had to know.

US$189 each


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