Ladies don’t believe waxing is worse for men. In fact, when you tell them waxing hurts men more, they get visibly upset – but it’s true. The male area is more sensitive than the female (sex organs themselves excluded) and unless you’re extremely unfortunate, that’s where most of the hair lies. In case you’re wondering, the most painful area is at the base of the penis and upwards for about one and a half ghastly inches.
I was ill-prepared for my adventure but my lucky therapist was a seasoned vet. She’d waxed over 50 different men in Hong Kong so I felt in safe hands. She left me alone in the treatment room to get undressed with some music playing and the lights dimmed. I used an anti-bacterial wipe to clean my holy of holies but for some odd reason I decided to leave my top on. I was naked from the waist down, embarrassed on some level that she’d see my belly. What a fool.
The therapist gave me some rescue remedy (a mildly alcoholic liquid you drop under your the tongue) which works more as a placebo than anything else but I took anything I could get my hands on - including a stress ball. They have a good selection of animal shaped stress balls that wouldn’t look out of place in Toys'R'Us but in Strip they bordered on inappropriate. I grabbed two of them - something the therapist wasn’t used to seeing.
I lay down flat on my back while the therapist placed a folded towel on my mid-drift. I couldn’t see what was going on downstairs but ignorance really is bliss. It hurts much more when you can see the rip.
I picked the hot chocolate wax over the strawberry flavour because it smelt delicious but my affection for the substance changed abrumptly after its first visit to my loins. The pain is quite something. I’d planned on casually playing with my iPhone during the treatment but it wasn’t to be. Instead of acting cool, I scrunched up the stress balls as hard as I could and involuntarily groaned at each climactic moment. The therapist said I was the loudest client she’d ever had.
The strangest, most terrifying part of the ordeal came about 15 minutes into the procedure when I felt something a little unorthodox. I sat up and noticed she’d daubed the hot, brown wax halfway up my penis.
“Why are you doing that?” I asked, alarmed. “There’s no hair there!”
“There’s a bit on the base,” she said with a smile.
As is the case with wax, what goes on must come off.
I slumped back down, checked my stress balls were sitting neatly in the palm of my hands and gritted my teeth. The therapist waited for the wax to cool and harden before grabbing the end of my penis and pulling it away from my body to tighten the skin… and then she yanked.
The air-conditioning was working at full capacity but I still came out dripping with sweat. Your front, perhaps surprisingly, is by far the worse with the crack an absolute dream in comparison. When she flipped me over I found myself able to relax completely, even indulging in some stilted conversation.
My therapist explained that more and more men in Hong Kong are getting waxed (it’s particularly popular within the German community) and most men opt for a boyzilian. Interestingly, whilst single men are their most common clients, a lot of couples choose to get waxed simultaneously. They must have very slippery sessions in the shower.
When the final ‘hold your breath’ had passed and she'd told me it was over, I was needless to say, ecstatic. I’d not only made it through but I couldn’t wait to show it off - and that’s the beauty of a boyzilian. The pain’s an issue but the finished product is something else, even if the stark baldness takes a bit of getting used to.
She left the room and I gingerly propped myself on the bed. I wanted to examine my tender nut sack but there wasn’t a suitable mirror so I hopped into my clothes and walked somewhat awkwardly out of the room. My therapist was waiting hopefully outside while another client was making her way down the stairs. She was talking animatedly with her therapist but when she saw me she stopped abruptly – women aren't used to seeing a man emerge from a treatment room in a waxing parlour. She looked me up and down, noticed the door of the treatment room closing and said:
“Ok then. Wow.”
It was an amusing moment.
I was given some creams developed by Strip to help soothe the skin and prevent in-growing hairs before heading back to work, a 15 minute walk away. I got a cab.
My experience of waxing is somewhat limited but Strip was excellent. One of their boyzilians costs HKD500 and most of their customers come in for maintenance every 3-6 weeks.
The reaction to the wax has been quite phenomenal. As we all know it gives your Johnson a couple of extra visual inches which never goes amiss but it’s the smoothness which is particularly compelling. You want to stroke your giblets all the time - particularly in the shower - and I’m not talking sexually. The texture is sensational. I used half a tub of shower gel on my first wash. It looks great, it’s brilliant to touch and the whole area feel's much cleaner. I would honestly consider going back.
The pain of a boyzilian is considerable and it's obviously a massive factor if you’re thinking of getting one. That said, if you want to tick it off the list, the finished product delivers in so many ways. What's more, the first wax is by far the most trying so be prepared for pain and pleasure, and a life-time of story telling.
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