Wednesday, 29.3.2017

She Is At Your Fingertips

A recent report found that Hong Kong singles are the most desperate in the world. According to the South China Morning Post, Hong Kong users of dating app Coffee Meets Bagel log on more often than users anywhere else in the world. Whether you’re looking for a fling or finality, dating apps just might be the ticket. Here’s out pick of the top online cupids.


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Here We Go Again

It’s that time of year again, when you get bent over the barrel by consumerism in the name of romance. But let’s face it, home-made cards and pop-tart breakfasts in bed only work in the movies; there are expectations to manage and El Nino-sized sexual droughts to avoid, so gently, gently gents. Fortunately, NecesCity, your digital wingman, has done some of the thinking for you.


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Go On, Be Judgey

Are men superficial in this day and age? Perhaps. But can you blame us? Today we live in an information rich environment, where everything is available in an instant, at the tips of our fingers.


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Something to Tickle Her Fancy

For those NecesCity men who are in steady relationships, Valentine’s Day can be a holiday fraught with perils and overextended expectations.


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Sex isn’t something we usually associate with danger – at least not immediately – but a new study has found the ‘cowgirl’ position, a soft-core cinematic favourite, just might be the most dangerous position you could ever find yourself in.


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Any guy can make a dinner reservation, so this Valentine’s Day get your femme du jour to fall in line with your post-date plans by treating her to an unconventional night out.

 


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Your Dirtiest Thoughts, Explained

It’s been said a man’s thoughts turns to sex far too frequently – every seven seconds, by some accounts. The frequency is open to debate, but that it happens is not a question.


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Let the Sparks Fly

Whether you and your paramour are just starting out or have been manacled together for years, there are two things that are necessary in a relationship: communication, and the ability to keep things interesting.


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Exit Strategy

For even the most suave among us, dating can be a tricky proposition. The minefield that is the early stage of dating is essentially a game of chicken: who dares wins, and who blinks first loses.


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Eatin’ Meets Lovin’

It’s amazing the effect certain ingredients can have on…well, other, even more pleasurable bodily functions. The ancient Greeks and Romans knew a thing or two, stockpiling a wide spectrum of aphrodisiacs, including oysters, which were the fleshy symbols of respective goddesses Aphrodite and Venus. The ancient Egyptians were fond of mixing pomegranate juice with wine, and some even added opium for a little extra thrust, while in China, a shot of cobra’s blood is still considered as good as Barry White’s greatest hits for setting the mood.


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Dirty Dancing

 Not all of us are blessed with the ability to dance. Many of us may be effortlessly suave and charismatic in general, but put us on a dance floor and suddenly we’re more Napoleon Dynamite than Patrick Swayze. And yet, we have to battle with the notion that many of the fairer sex seem to subscribe to, that being smooth operators on the dance floor equates to prowess in other parts of our lives. So what’s a man with two left feet and a light-footed partner to do?


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A Real Man's Breakfast

From the moment we’re born, we’re thrown into an unflinchingly boy versus girl world, and for the most part, we studiously avoid straying too far from our prescribed roles lest our manhood be called into question. We’re told boys wear blue, and girls wear pink; boys play sports, while girls play with dolls. These are gender stereotypes, true, but divisions between the genders exist, even in adulthood. So in a world where everything in our lives is firmly delineated by sex, it was only a matter of time before our food became gender-specific too.


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Cloud Based Sex Toy For Long Distance Lovers

When you think of men and the internet, you think of one thing - porn. Trillions of GB of the stuff showing women from all corners of the earth and 13 lucky men (why are there so few?) doing things your missus would be ashamed of. So, why, we ask, has the internet not given us loads of web-based sex toys? Gentlemen, the wait is over. We present to you LovePalz, a his and her sex toy that can be connected via the internet so when you pump she feels it. Seriously.


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Flowers & 50 Shades of Grey for Valentine’s

Valentine’s Day is a headache, no doubt about it. There’s an onus on boyfriends, fiancés and husbands to make a stand. Even if you don’t ‘celebrate’ it, you’ve got to do something with the lady and that’s where Gift Flowers HK comes in. The 100% online florist stocks various treats for Valentine’s Day, while their sister site, Gift Hampers HK even sells a “Fifty Shades of Grey” erotic hamper ($590 delivered). However dire the writing, you can’t argue with the return you’ll get on that investment.


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Porsche Simulators Meet Speed Dating

Sideways, the racing car simulator specialist, is hosting a novel speed dating night with Double Happiness Dating combining Porsches with potential love interests. We just hope the boys manage to keep the pick up lines to themselves because there’s a lot to choose from. We’re talking about being first over the finishing line, gear stick control, spark plugs, reclining seats, 0-60 in…, and “what have you got under the bonnet darling?’” It’s a minefield.


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Send Risque Photos that Disappear

Snapchat is a photo sharing app that lets you send images with an extremely short shelf life, up to 10 seconds to be precise. The founders deny it’s a sexting app but we can’t think of another use for it. Imagine, you’ve fancied a girl for ages and although you normally wouldn’t dream of sending her a photo of your package resting on a cereal box, you’ve had a couple of drinks and send her a Snapchat picture. She’ll see it, open-mouthed, for a few seconds and then bang - it’s gone. She won’t be able to send it to her pals, she won’t even be sure if it was there. But she’ll KNOW.


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Men love sex, especially when there are no strings attached…


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Inventive App Explains Why You Got Dumped

WotWentWrong is a cool new app that tells you why you got dumped. We like it bar the nauseating spelling of 'Wot'. We don't say wot. We're not spotty teenagers struggling to hear our mothers down the stairs. Either way, the app's useful because you might want to know why she won't speak to you any more. You thought the first date went well but you're also not the type of man who deserves a restraining order for trying to find out.


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Flower Subscriptions for Busy Men

Pacific Petals is a new Hong Kong company offering online flower subscriptions all year round, which means you no longer have to puzzle over petunias yourself to make her smile. Needless to say, buying bouquets doesn't come naturally to us, but it’s an essential part of being a good (or apologetic) boyfriend. And remember, ensuring she gives you leave for that stag trip can come down to a perfectly timed flower delivery.


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With Lingerie Show & Open Bar

Sheer, a new lingerie boutique on Wyndham St, is hosting a Men Only Valentine’s Party on Thursday, February 9 with a lingerie show and other treats in store. It's one for the boys that ultimately benefits the ladies, which is about as fair as Valentine's isn't. Why do we have to fork out every year for this fictional date? Still, picking quality lingerie is a clear signal of your value as a mate so it’s an evolutionary imperative to head along.


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Something Special for Valentine's Day

Flaunt has a selection of lingerie for Valentine's Day that stakes a claim to make it a genuine religious holiday. It's a great gift because men and women love lingerie. In fact, it's one of the few things both sexes agree on. Whether it's films, flatulence or female beauty (women always rate prettiness over sex appeal) the two genders sit on other sides of the fence, but over lingerie they come together.


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The average diamond is 3.3 billion years old so you’d best be prepared if you plan on getting married in this lifetime.


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On certain topics we value a female perspective and one such topic is lady underwear. To keep you in the loop with the XX chromosome we’ve invited guest contributor Gillian Chu to explain what men should look for when they’re buying lingerie and where they can get it in Hong Kong.


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On certain topics we value a female perspective and one such topic is dating. To keep you in the loop with the XX chromosome we’ve invited guest contributor Gillian Chu to share some of the best dates Hong Kong has to offer.


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Unique Romantic Experiences for Busy Men

Partner Pulsit: Ignite Experience is a brilliant new business that helps busy, working men maintain the zest of their relationships through a variety of one-off packages without any of the organizational headache. You just get in touch with them and they’ll sort everything out, making you look like Johnny Depp without having to wipe the mayonnaise off your face or close your Excel spreadsheet during your lunch break.


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Travel Breaks for Post Break Ups

If you’ve just had a painful break up the best thing you can normally do is go on holiday and Die Liebeskuemmerer caters for exactly that market. The German company arranges holidays for 6 – 8 people suffering from the break up blues but we imagine these trips could go either way. Sure, you could have a raucous time, orgies and make friends for life or it could all end early with a suicide pact.


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Aphrodisiac DinnerNext Wed

Coast Bistro & Bar, Showtime Lingerie, Belvedere Vodka and a host of other big names are holding an aphrodisiac themed dinner next Wednesday. It's bound to be a hit. After all, food and sexuality form a well trodden path to a man's heart - so long as curry's not involved. A lamb bhuna is game over for romance.

Rather than powdered rhino horn or illicit pills bought in Mong Kok, this aphrodisiac event centers round food and entertainment. Guests will sit down to a 3-course dinner complemented by a theatrical lingerie show. It all sounds very exciting. We’re hoping for Shakespeare meets Sex & Zen 3D.


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Delectable Ladies Giving Handyman Advice

EyeHandy is a website featuring videos of gorgeous girls offering handyman advice, from how to replace a kitchen faucet to how to treat a jellyfish sting. According to Tara (one of the site’s protagonists), contrary to popular belief, you don’t treat a jellyfish sting by peeing on it. Which is jolly good for Tara, otherwise she'd be performing in some rather unwholesome cinema.


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Scientific Kit Finds Your Perfect Match by Scent

A Swiss company called Basisnote claims to have produced a kit that scientifically profiles your scent, enabling them to find your perfect love match. It’s a bold statement and we’re not talking about your Black Orchid or whatever Eau de Toilette you like to put on – this is your natural, Eau de Toilet smell.


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Tips for the Constant Adulterer

You’ve been marked. Things have gotten out of control with one of your little consorts and she’s taken the plunge – into your neck. Now don’t get us wrong, we like a little rodeo role-play as much as the next buck, but a mark like this is like the walk of shame; everyone knows what it means, especially those from whom you’d just as happily keep it hidden.


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